Abuse: My Story

I don’t understand why victims of domestic violence blame themselves, but we do.  Even now a year after leaving, I don’t have feelings of anger or hate for my ex.  The hardest emotion to deal with these days is my own shame over having stayed for 12 years, for having enabled him to manipulate me,... Continue Reading →

Music, Love, Faith

Music gives me the power to love.   Love gives me the courage to fail, the permission to be flawed, the insight that there are many Ways and more than one answer.   Faith gives me the wisdom to be patient, to believe in signs, to learn from my emotions and to simply be.

To Wring a Poem From My Gut

To wring a poem from my gut, there’s nothing like infuriation, with acid reflux burning, comes a verbal deviation.   My words seethe from every crack, I say only in a sarcophagus, would you be able to silence, this woman’s throbbing esophagus.   Wrenching impotence, in the face of calamity, give me a Pepcid Ac... Continue Reading →

Am I to Blame?

Fortified by my seeming indifference and prescription –dulled demeanor, the tears don’t leak until days later, in the safety of solitude.   Your weakness has become me, questions batter my mind with guilt and grief; Was it my perfectionism?  Was I too demanding? What else could I have done?   I tried and tried and... Continue Reading →

Rebirth

Unexpectedly, a typical tumble in the turbid monotony of the mundane, metamorphoses into a molting of denial, a moving manifestation of humility.   Hope spins in spirals, shooting sparks across my soul, granting me a glimpse of Grace.

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