They say you must feel pain,
to feel joy,
is necessary to live fully,
allows for gratitude,
and that sorrow,
opens the heart.
But, fuck, does it hurt!
I vowed I would not run.
I would not evade.
I would not numb.
So here I sit with pain,
the full weight of my humanity,
Only trivial relief comes from cool tears,
gliding down my burning cheeks.
My thoughts taunt the dark corners of my mind,
I let them permeate.
Muddled by my refusal to react,
they mix with the background roar of evening traffic,
until I no longer hear nor see them clearly.
I get it; I’m flawed.
I am human.