You think that your pernicious persuasion will convince me of your perjury,
but your deception only drives the doubt deeper into my disposition.
I raise my eyes long enough to catch your distressed but determined glare and the occasional blinking spasm,
as you swear by all things sacred.
The injury you are inflicting on our frail foundation is inconceivable to you in your debilitated state,
and our solidity shivers, with every seismic vibration from your mouth.
Tears boil just behind my cynical stare, loss lodges itself in my throat and paralyzes my perspicuity.
Falling piteously, praying fiercely:
Endurance for our existence,
Sustenance for our souls.
I just read an incredible blog entry which moved me to my core this morning. Suddenly my chaotic week of emotional pitfalls dissipated and I realized I was resisting the challenges that have been handed to me. I re-read my own advice in the poem Currents and recognized that I have strayed from my own beliefs.
I have allowed myself to be sucked into the frantic, mechanized, overly-digital world that leads us to believe that check-lists and compulsive task-completion are what define us as people.
How many checks off my list? Is this how much I’m worth as a person?
I am so wrapped up in my roles as a mother, wife, counselor, teacher, care-taker, leader, house-keeper, schedule enforcer, cook (and the list goes on and on) that I tend to lose my bearings, my internal compass, and end up living under the fallacy that these roles are who I am.
Oh but I am so much more! 🙂
Our roles in life are part of the Journey, they are part of the Path, they are a means not an end,
through which we grow and learn and transform and become
something greater than we would have ever imagined, had we let ourselves be restricted by our tiny, petite worlds and limited, narrow vision.
Who will I become? I haven’t a clue but I’m excited to find out!